New year, new you!

Time flies when you are having fun.

Last time I wrote an entry in my blog was 2014 June, since then, a lot has happened. 

I was dating someone at the time, got engaged to him, got married to him and had two babies with him too. So I guess you could say, my life has changed drastically in a space of a few years. 

And you know what, it's great, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

I feel like I've changed a lot in these years too. Firstly physically, because having babies changes your body, and sleeplessness probably makes you look older too :D But secondly, more importantly I've changed as a person. At least I'd like to think so. In this world, I think people often take pride in never changing and maintaining same lifestyle and habits. It's almost sacred. And if you lose those habits and that free lifestyle, as to say, I'm my own boss, they miss it, they feel bad for themselves, wanting back the good old days and so on. I'm the complete opposite. I wouldn't change my life back for anything. Of course the physical aspect is always different. Who doesn't want to be fit and look great? But less about that and more about the other thing.
I'm a different person and proud of it. Of course, God has been main factor in changing me and most of my blog entries are about Him but I want to focus on someone different this time.
Someone that God put in my life - my husband of almost three years now: Ricky.

Thinking of him being in my life as he is actually makes me tear up (as I am now, writing this). I don't even know where to start. We often hear that sentence when it comes to people finding each other - opposites attract. I never found it completely true because of guys I have met and have had crushes on over the years, but when it comes to Ricky it is SPOT ON! I don't think I could've imagined anyone so different from me to fall in love with. A few examples - he is emotionally so open, he doesn't hold grudges, he is completely comfortable with talking about issues and addressing them. He almost never lets me get away with holding my frustration, sadness or anger in. It's great! But also super challenging. But he has taught me sooooo much because of it and I still have a long way to go but I feel like it's perfect for our marriage to grow better and better in years to come.

Another thing about him is that he is completely fine with confrontation. I couldn't think of anything worse for myself but he is not afraid of conflict and also not afraid of dealing with it. It's great because I can always rely on him to get things done. Other people don't intimidate him so when something needs to be said or needs to get done he is ready for it. I'm nervous to even call my doctor to get an appointment..... It's something I'd like to be better at in the future, but I think it'll take slightly more time than other things :D I'm in no rush.

When I was growing up, and mostly as a teenager I had this idea in my head that it's cool to be overly sarcastic, I hated people touching me, found it weird to say to people that they are dear to me or that I love them. I guess a lot of it was because my parents didn't do that with us. And it's not something they could've helped. It was just that time. Affection wasn't a priority. It was more about raising us to be active Christians, just the softness part was left out. I guess I have come to find that path on my own, but I'm not blaming my parents for that (not anymore at least, I've done Route 61). So when I met Ricky, he was always so vocal about what he felt. After he said 'I love you' for the first time, it was the beginning of a lot of I love yous. He's not afraid to express his feelings, even if it means being a complete dork about it :D He can be the manliest man in the world when he wants to be, but he can also be a big softy about the people he cares about. And he cares a lot. This is something that's really hard to compete with. I know it's not a competition but if it was, he'd be winning. I find now that habits are not something that just happen, you can also make them happen. Ricky makes me want to have a habit of being better at expressing my love for him and for my kids. I want all three of them to never have to question what I feel about them.

Another thing that Ricky is different from me is his physical training. He's done some kind of exercise his entire life. Whether it was boxing, or cage fighting or jiujitsu or now crossfit, he is always in need of physical activity. I've always been passionate about hating exercise. I mean it's not completely true but it's also not completely wrong. I don't find enjoyment in planning to go to the gym or do a workout every single day. If I do it, I always just wanna get it over and done with. I enjoy the after, when I no longer need to do it. But it's always not a good enough feeling to keep at it. So he really is an inspiration in that area too and he is always super supportive, whenever I'm thinking about starting with some physical activity.

So these are some of the things we are different in but there's more about him than these. 

I have to mention the love that he has for his children. I already mentioned how much he loves in general but this love stands separate. He's always wanted to be a father and if you ask me, he's one of the best dads I know. He always wants to be with our kids, he puts a lot of effort in raising them, so it's not just on me to make sure they get raised properly, he wants things for them, making sure they are getting everything they need. He is always there for me when I need help, when I need sleep after being up with one or two of them. We truly raise them together, 50/50 (even though, time wise I do spend more time with them but that's not what I mean). He never ever just leaves me 'to deal with the kids' because it's 'my job'. He knows its both of our job. He is a wonderful wonderful dad :) 

Now... I simply can't not write about who he is as a Christian. The fact of the matter is that even though 'opposites attract' and this is how its meant to be for us, we had to have this one thing in common - our faith. We wouldn't be together without God. In the early stages of dating I made sure I found out what his relationship was with God for real. I wanted to be sure that whatever happens, he will always choose God over anything else. And after he said he does he continued to show me that he does. And I have to say, nothing makes me more proud than seeing him make choices for God. He's won medals and belts in jiujitsu and other sports and prizes at work but his growing relationship and seeing his priorities in his faith is number one thing that makes me fall in love with him more and more each time. He's a prayer warrior, he's never afraid to pray for other people for what they need in their life. If you call him up and ask for prayer, you can be 100% that he will do it. Our kids are absolutely covered in prayer from head to toe just because of him. There's hasn't been a day that our kids or our marriage hasn't been prayed for. And I'm certain that this will be one of the reasons our lives will grow closer to God as the time goes on. 

Also - did I mention that he's sexy as heck? 

Your truly,

Mrs Beadnall